im in a crisis. i cant stop thinking about how i'd lose out to everyone in every single matter. call me a perfectionist. call me.. whatever. i've an inferiority complex. i cant help it. i've tried so much to change it. i cant correct this mindset as much as i want to. yea i act all gay cheery and bubbly. im jus gonna disguise it all.

i realised, it really doesnt pay to be nice to be everyone. i wonder often who's gonna be there for me when i need help? shove me aside when gd things happen. rope me in when there're bad things. who gives the most ? i dun like being taken advantaged of. i think the male gender has more of loyalty to speak of. girls? bitching around is all we know. quit it.

things haven been going rather smooth for me. take yesterday, i'd stained my skirt. thanks to sem she helped me with the mess. i'd wanted to leave sch without taking GP mock but i stayed in the end. i shouldnt have stayed. it was as good as not doing it. i didnt know what the ack i was writing thoughout in all my essay and answers.

cant wait for things to get better.....