as i reminised, i thought that i'd lost a good friend of mine. not because of a rift or because of a guy .. whatsoever issues like tat. it's just the distance between us which made us grew even more distant. we couldn't communicate and it seems like she's changed. became more hostile. when i met her last year, she tried to be nice. yea i know she's nice to all of us who were there but we seem to have the lessest to talk abt amongst all. we used to crap and she used to tell me everything under the sun. i kinda miss that now. i dunt mind losing slp hearing her talk abt her problems but the chance is gone now.

i know she wunt be reading this entry.

finally the long weekends are here. i cant wait for sem and meiyi to come back from philippines so i cant get my hands on my stuffs. hehe. but anyways .. wish them bon voyage.

this week has been great. my bball season is over and u'll hear lesser of my complains abt.. no time, tired, exhausted and whatever shit. i'd rather mug than train so hard for competitions because i cant stand running nowadays.

on thurs , jen hui and i were at coffee bean studying.. haha it was an achievement day! we not only completed tutorials but also digged a secret out of jen!! ahha. the perfect j ? hehe. then this news spread so fast that the clique of us all knew it already. ahah.

yday, hui had her match so jen and i went swimming while waiting for her. then we quickly finsihed 15 laps and rushed back before the rain started to pour. next on we headed to TCB. ooh i saw dearest pearl and her friends. but the rest of some other pj ppl there were just too noisy. what a distraction.

den i had this perfect dream of my perfect w last night! i still remmeber it vividly. i almost never wanted to wake up. haha!

the very last thing i'd want to receive is a scolding. as if my limping leg and little slp isnt bad enough. i dunt get why u can kick a big fuss out of the smallest thing. fine i admit i'd forgotten abt it but need u lament me like that. it's not as if it's sucha big issue to u. it doesnt harm u. i hate u for being soo superstitious abt things like tat. it's not like ur luck would change if i'd not forgotten abt it. and fancy u saying i'd use FORGOT as an excuse. i hate u.

urg~!!!

SPA tml. just the thought of it makes me dread sch tml. i hope it gets over soon. im friggin tired of all these practs and experiments that we have to do. moreover they say it's a difficult paper. sheesh.

and today's been quite a bad day. i dun understand how we could perform so badly today and y my butt muscles got strained again. it just hinders my performance. it's sad that it's the last match and i cant play it well.

all in all today was just not the day for me. im tired

i was trying hard to discover how wild the night was in clarke quay. u'll be surprised that i haven been there for more than 3 years. then i noticed the expats hanging out there, guys and girls, all nicely dressed up and how some ppl got intimate with one another. then again, i thought that must have been their way of having fun. after sitting around for some time, i saw how girls leave with guys and how some guys have two or more girls with them. i guess they must have been used to peculiar stares. or maybe i was the odd one out who can't apprehend such stuff.

i saw 2 man walking hand in hand. all that talk abt gays and lesbians, i thought i'd have gotten used to it or even accepted the society's homosexuals. i felt uncomfortable! well i think it certainly takes much more time for ppl to be used to that.

they say im young. only 17, where can i go (club) ?? so what if u're old lah. drinking only what. drinking doesnt mean u are older and more mature. the way i see that ah lian smoke and talking loudly puts me off. it embarasses me so much i felt like running away. she's got no poise and i could see her trying to flirt with that guy. yuk.

people nowadays....

No. 5 rocks my socks. New found idol. he truly amuses me. hmm encouraging.

headed down to csh right after sch ended with 62A clique. the 2 games we watched made me so excited i had to jump high and low to contain my rush of blood. the crowd was fantastic, i love being amidst enthu spectators. then i saw ex-coach and coach there. missed ex-coach!! he still looks cute hehe.

mr teo is weird! he asked me if i like the hci bballer cos he thought his intuition was like damn right. omg. puh-leasE!! i thought he looked kinda cute at first but when jen told me he's another weirdo i got so turned off. haha. sucks lah mr teo made me embarassed.

4 of us from clique 62A gossiped hell a lot today. we spoke ill of **** *** and **** **, and how we got so sick of them. haha. dunt be kpo ok.

whoa it's been long since i blogged. the latest buzz on me is getting hot and hotter!!

ok actually it isnt anything much. haha. but im looking forward to everyday becos A div has started and i cant wait to step down. ok and then Full House has given me much inspiration to life! the girls in my class are catching it too. haha and today's full of discussion on it. ya u know ... all the girls talk abt how touching and how sweet Rain is. haha. ooh and the parts of the show that we cried. haha. stupid lah but i like it CAN?

so today's game with rjc was kinda expected. got thrashed, no biggie. but i regretted not playing my best. several balls i could have gone after it but i was lazy. sorry team ij!! ermm but i did help out with blocking out .. so forgive me ok? =) so i saw many of my friends there for competition. well wish them luck!! i couldnt watch for long. then then then .. i saw clarice too so i asked her to return leng kee's jersey which she owed for a year!! hahaha. i sorta embarassed her infront of her sr team mates.. well serve her right lah.. haha.

sad to say, i felt weird when i saw ex dss players there but we are in different teams now. i just miss braving through weal and woe with them .. i'd feel anxious the night before the competition but somehow i could slp peacefully last night. it shows how, unaffected i am. haha. i soo soo miss my dearest girls!!

let's count down. two more matches. :)

knees and feet are in bad condition now. they hurt . i need rest.

napfa 30 points. :)

SLEEP

the THREE views of life from Confucius, Lao-Tse and Malcolm Muggeridge. so we were doing an AQ on this passage. how do the three ways of life serve as a useful guide to young people in your country today? hurhur.

i hate confucius. he detests material ppl. which means he detests me. he said we have to discharge social obligations. i like be obligated ok. confucius, ur thinking is wrong lah. how else can we survive if we dunt try to fit into society? we cant expect society to change for us right.

and Lao-tse.. i tihnk u're getting senile. all the talk abt inaction and action, like wth are u trying to say with these philosophy when all u wanted to convey was to opt for peace options than brutal methods.like c'mon, how do u expect an ordinary human to understand ur funny logic.u think it's eassy to do that when i cant even comprehend what the ack u're trying to say? huurr.

Malcolm, u too!! why do talk abt life is benevolent?? i just regret being borned out of my mommy's womb because im facing superficial ppl everyday lor. what is love today? u rarely can find one who's willing to die for u. well lucky if u do.

u guys out there please see the importance of all these TALK and impossibilities to accomplish these ideals in today's context. please be convinced!!!!

now do i sound like the next famous philosopher?? im mic. remember!
:)

im experiencing insecurities right now. i just want to shed from my other shell and run away .. be invisible. i dunt want anybody to give a hoot. i want others to be oblivious towards me. i hate scrutiny! i know some ppl out there have been commenting, pin-pointing. i dunt like to guess what u're thinking. if that ever happens, i'll just think of u saying negative stuff about me. right im so self-conscious. i dunt know why either. i only want to be the best. it's like nothing is ever enough.

it's becos of insecurities that i dun want to find solace in anybody. trust is missing? who knows the real me? i want to be defiant too. in this world im just trying to live up to everyone's expectations. u'll see me breaking down on day. i cant take up all of these responsibilities.who can i really tell my problems to? u cant understand

hush

i can't wait for napfa to end. then it'll mark the end of runnings and circuit trainings.

A div girls match will start on 17 april. please let it end soon too.

sore throat and flu came at the wrong time. i want it to go away soon.

good friday on 14 april. hope the time comes fasT!! i wanna getaway.